Top Ten Ways You Know You're a Costeño

Top Ten Ways You Know You're a Costeño (someone from coastal Colombia):

1. When boarding a crowded bus you give your baby to a random stranger to hold

2. You are the divinely appointed enforcer of all traffic laws, and in this capacity are not subject to such laws yourself

3. You make speed bumps out of rope

4. Men: You would starve if the women didn't make you food / Women: This is how you get your way

5. Your medical consultations take the form of group discussions among your family, friends, neighbors, and anyone who happens to be walking by

6. You keep the air-conditioning so cold that you put things in the refrigerator to heat them up

7. You are 5 and know how to dance salsa, vallenato, merengue, and cumbya perfectly

8. You don't pronounce the letter s, vowels, every third word, or spaces, and say everything at 3x normal speed

9. You are a doctor or lawyer and still get wasted while dancing into the wee hours of the night

10. On 100 degree, 90% humidity days you wear shoes, pants, a collared shirt, and eat hot soup